(March 3, 2025 Newsletter)
A key step when preparing to take on more responsibility is making it obvious to those around you that you’re the right person to lead through the next set of challenges.
This is as true for a CEO of a fast-growing startup as it is for a middle manager in a nonprofit.
How do you instill confidence in key stakeholders that you’re ready for what’s next?
Why it matters
No one can advance without tacit or explicit permission from others.
I’ve heard clients gripe that they can’t get out of the “You remind me of my granddaughter” box, or the young mom box, or the aggressive coworker box.
On the flip side, clients of mine have missed spotting talent on their teams because they’ve put a label on someone and stopped seeing the nuances.
Shedding outdated labels and positioning yourself isn’t entirely in your control, but you can take several steps to shift perceptions over the course of time.
5 steps to reposition yourself
Where are you going? Painting the picture of where you’re heading must include the details of how you’ll speak and behave once you’re there. Literally as you read this and think about it right now, shift your body just slightly into the position it would take then (did you just sit up taller, roll your shoulders back, or relax your forehead muscles? I noticed!)
Diagnose how you’re perceived. If you had to pick a few adjectives to describe yourself in your current role and in the future state, what would they be? How different are those words from each other? You can do a gut check by running this thought experiment by a few trusted colleagues or ask for a 360.
Chart the path from here to there. What do you think would have to change about your communication style or behavior in order to bridge the gap between how you’re currently perceived and how you’d like to be? Subtleties are important here – you don’t want to be making huge shifts that draw a ton of attention, so much as small shifts that will add up over the course of time. Crucially, it needs to include what can be shed, not just added.
Bring in your allies. Who’s on Team <<First Name>>? They can help you strategize and can also play a role in advocating for this evolved version of you. They can subtly point out when your default behaviors are peeping out and can cheer you on as you make progress. Depending on where they are on their leadership journey, you can do the same for them.
Check in on your own progress. How will you know you’re making progress? What responses from colleagues will change?
Final thought: One note to keep in the back of your mind is that some perceptions are so entrenched that switching companies is the fastest way to turn over a new leaf.
If you like what you do and where you are, I would put in a concerted effort to evolve in-house before looking elsewhere, but if you feel you’ve outgrown your box and there are too many constraints for breaking out of it, it’s worth considering what’s next.
The Coaching Corner
Thank you!
Today, what’s one little and specific appreciation you can show each member of your team for something they did in the last week? Practice using the quick feedback framework Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) for reinforcing behavior you want to see more of. Here are some quick examples:
Thanks for turning around that edited draft to me so quickly on Thursday so I could get it to the client/investor/donor before the deadline.
Thanks for speaking up in Friday’s meeting and sharing your concerns about the plan. It helped us get to a clearer conclusion on that decision.
Recommendations
“How Leaders Can Encourage Learning” – podcast interview with a thought-provoking perspective on separating learning methods from objectives.
Presence or the Drama Triangle? – a short YouTube video from the Conscious Leadership Group. I’ve explored the Karpman Drama Triangle and its inverse with many of my clients but haven’t found a quick explanation that sums it up nicely until I came across this video.
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