(September 16, 2024 Newsletter)
Who are you?
As leaders, it’s common to be asked how you got to where you are. It can come up as a question in job interviews, as curiosity by team members or coworkers you mentor, or in public settings like podcast interviews, panels, or presentations.
The challenge, however, is that you’ve had a rich life full of all kinds of experiences that have impacted who and where you are. There are so many – maybe too many – moments to choose from.
As such, how can you choose the details to weave together into a compelling narrative that feels aligned with who you are and where you’re heading?
Why it matters
As a person who aspires to make an impact, there’s a virtuous cycle that you can initiate. Honing a compelling personal narrative can draw people to you, making associations in their minds of you as a capable, ready, and/or inspiring leader, which can open more opportunities for you.
Here are five steps to crafting your story:
Connect to where you’re headed. With a million possible variations on the story you can tell about yourself, your goals can serve as a north star. In other words, the way you connect the dots should make it obvious why you’re on the path you’re on and how it will lead to where you’re going.
Make it relevant to your audience. Just as relevant is knowing your audience. Not because you’re going to say anything disingenuous, but the opposite – so that you can make sure to highlight relevant points and build connection with the person or people who asked.
Peaks, valleys, and twists. With so many moments to choose from, categorize a few for yourself as high points, low points, and turning points. These important moments will be meaningful for you to tell and memorable for the audience to hear.
Demonstrate your values. The above moments should also highlight what’s important to you and why; how you came to the conclusions that led you to take the actions that made you who you are.
Allow for flexibility – don’t try to squeeze everything in. When you’re organizing your thoughts, remember that you’re never going to be able to encapsulate everything that’s important to you in one interaction. So relax and pick just a few moments to share.
Not sure how to start? Try one of these openers:
"When I think of what brought me here, I remember this one time when…"
"It all started when…"
"When I look back and connect the dots, I notice that ____ is a common thread through it all."
A little warning:
Consistency matters. You’re going to play around with a few versions and learn from what resonates. While variation is welcome over time, contradictions are not. You can’t be everything to everyone, which is why grounding your story in consistent values and themes is key.
Final thought: Crafting your personal narrative can be a nerve-wracking exercise but is ultimately clarifying and liberating. Going through the above steps means you answer these questions first and foremost for yourself before answering them for anyone else.
Plus, it means you’ll be ready, should you ever be asked when you weren’t expecting the question.
If there’s any way I can help you through this process, don’t hesitate to ask.
The Coaching Corner
“I have a thought, but I want to hear your answer first.”
One of my favorite little coaching tricks is to flip the question you were just asked back on the person, regardless of whether they’re asking for your advice, feedback, input, or perspective.
In any of those cases, get in the habit of inviting the person to share their thoughts first and only then to give yours. The benefits are:
That they might already have an answer in mind that you can confirm or tweak.
You’re encouraging their independent thinking.
You can display your trust in their judgment, resulting in fewer questions like it.
Recommendations
“It’s not about the nail” – a former client and I were catching up and she reminded me that I sent her this short video, which is both funny, ridiculous, and totally true. I won’t spoil it.
New Rules of Teamwork – new article from this month’s HBR magazine. Don’t be intimidated by the McKinsey level of resources. Even smaller orgs can learn from the three main principles laid out in the article to develop a system, measure it, and learn from it.
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