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Tighten, loosen, tighten, loosen

(October 1, 2024 Newsletter)

These days, it seems like a lot of my clients are asking themselves one (or more) of the following questions:

  • How do I be more on top of my team without coming across as a micromanager?

  • How can I find the right balance of trusting them while making sure they get their work done?

  • How strict of an agenda should I bring to staff meetings? Or have them bring?


The challenge is compounded when we parse out who responds well to detailed direction, who’s earned a hands-off approach, or otherwise.

  • Because people have different needs, it can be hard to give them each what they need since it requires constant toggling between different modes.


Why it matters

In some ideal world, you’d be synced enough with each of your team members to be able to say “Hey did you…” and they cut you off and say “yes” and that’s the end of the conversation.

  • But most work relationships require more words than that – to describe work when assigning it, to get more detailed updates and review drafts or final versions, to clarify and reclarify, reiterate and realign.


It takes time and skill – sensitivity and patience – to get it right. The best people leaders see this as a constant calibration, a dynamic and fluid part of the job to monitor and adjust.

  • Alternatively, not getting it right can lead to mistrust, frustration, poor work output, stifled creativity, overreliance, and eventually attrition.


What to do

  1. Recognize your baseline and patterns. At a steady state, what’s your preference in terms of the level of detail to give when assigning work? How about the intensity with which you track progress? How formal or casual do you act? Then, what changes when you’re stressed? Do you up the pressure or take your foot off the gas?

  2. Note your team members’ defaults and trajectories. At a steady state, are they open to, or seek, direction? When they’re unsure of something, do they ask for help or try to solve it themselves? And of course – how do your styles interact?

  3. Tighten, loosen, tighten, loosen. Monitoring the effectiveness of your approach allows you to adjust regularly. When someone’s work is coming back sloppy, it’s ok to point that out and get into the weeds with them temporarily, only to back off when you see they’re handling it well. If you’ve started out on top of someone’s work and you see they’re integrating your feedback, you can back off until you’re needed next.

  4. Do the inner work. Listen for your inner narrative. Is your Inner Critic warning you against changing your approach out of fear of being seen as…? If so, what reassurance can you offer yourself so that you can relax into the change?

  5. Pull back the curtain. If you’re worried about coming across as inconsistent, don’t be afraid to be more open with your team member about the change in approach. Let them know that this project is especially important so you’ll be hands on than usual, or that you’ve seen them become more independent recently so you plan on checking in less frequently for the time being.


Final thought: Over the course of a long career, you’ll find many reasons and opportunities to tighten and loosen. Tracking when and why you change course can help you detect patterns and improve your real-time adjustments down the line.

 

The Coaching Corner


Be your own coach


Last week a client commented how much she’s enjoying practicing some of the coaching questions on herself. I do that too. A quick check-in can make your work faster and smoother, like:

  • What am I really trying to accomplish here?

  • What’s my real challenge here?

  • What are some options for getting past it?

  • What do I want to do next?

 

Recommendations


My head is quite squarely in holiday mode. For those who don’t know, the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) starts this Wednesday evening, which means an intense month of holidays is coming up, as is the anniversary of the October 7th massacre in Israel and the start of the miserable war that’s still unfolding.


So Saturday night I went to hear this amazing college acapella group, Tizmoret, and it soothed my soul. For anyone else who needs some soul soothing these days, I recommend music – and maybe even more specifically, college acapella.


Wishing everyone who practices a Happy and Healthy New Year! Shana Tova!

 

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